Wes' Thoughts Page
It's mind
jambalaya!
What Wes would say to Congress
Wes was presented with an interesting question by a student working on a paper about AIDS: "Let's suppose that you are giving a speech to the Congress, and you had their undivided attention. What would you tell them? What would your speech be about?" This is how he responded.
Female mud wrestling!
Wes' sister, Susan, was the 1981 Dallas, Texas' champion female mud wrestler. She won the title -- using her stage name of Amorous Amazona -- shortly after this article came out.
Is Homophobia Associated with Homosexual Arousal?
I've long heard the adage that the reason some people are homophobic is because they are afraid of a part of them that feels attraction to the same sex. Read this to see what science says.
When Wes drove over a cliff
What more can I say?
When Wes was in Newsweek
Life and death stuff
- Friends and acquaintances of Wes' who have died of AIDS
- Memories of memorial services
- My friend Bil
- Janis Ian on dying slowly
- Euthanasia World Directory lists all right to die groups, plus information on suicide, assisted suicide, euthanasia laws, living wills, Hemlock Society (& its founder, Derek Humphry), Dr. Kevorkian, and viatical settlements (a terminally ill person selling life insurance while still alive).
Right-wingers and gays
Here's a column by Bruce Bawer that hits the mark:
Bruce Bawer on fundamentalists as misguided.
Cool Site! archives & "What's New"
- 2024 Daddy Barry has dual surgeries in January, including installation of a dorsal root ganglion stimulator.
- 2023 got off to a running start and Daddy Barry lives through a heart attack, utilizes electro convulsive therapy for extreme depression, then in the fall we go on vacation to Europe, and Officer Wes has a small reversible stroke.
- and he gets a dorsal root ganglion stimulator for extreme pain in his legs and feet.
- 2022 began with lots of doctor appointments, then Officer Wes' birthday, a trip to Idyllwild hosted by Chuck and frank, dog's birthday celebration in the San Francisco precinct hosted by Deputy and Chris, plus painful shingles and ketamine for Treatment Resistant Depression for Daddy Barry, and planning a 2023 trip to the Danube and Berlin. Also, Daddy Barry’s extreme pain in his right foot and leg traveled to the left as well. One hopeful spot: UCSD Pain Management’s Dr. Chen, who installed Daddy Barry’s spine stimulator with great improvement suggested it could be a sacroiliac joint issue. An injection there was put in the queue.
- 2021 started with bumps, and continued with surgeries.
- 2020 has been rough. The big thing for us personally was the loss of our longtime dog and friend, Opa. Then the coronavirus hit. And Tom died. But we made it through and were able to have safe family dinners with our chosen family, who share the same sheltering in place protocols. And we adopted Lily.
- 2019 included more move-in tasks and a fun visit from Deputy and Chris, with related family get-together, and a handsome replacement Harley. Daddy Barry aka "Commander" rode up to SFO for Dore Alley. We celebrated his 70th birthday. A dear friend passed. We went on a long-planned vacation to Florida to see Universal Studios:Orlando, and visit dog's family.
- 2018 started with Daddy Barry helping dog move out of the doghouse in Florida, continued with the sale of our condo and purchase of a larger one, and then the death of Officer Wes' father. The next month Daddy Barry had a motorcycle accident, and the following month became septic with MRSA pneumonia.
- 2017 includes visits from Deputy and Chris, sinus surgery, deaths of some friends, helping Daddy surprise mom Charlotte with a house re-do, and a group decision for dog to finally return to San Diego so the three of us could be the live-together portion of a poly family.
- 2016 includes Daddy Barry's hip surgery, Opa's cataract removal surgery, and Officer Wes' Huntington's Disease genetic marker news.
- 2015 is full of family, friends, art, and health stuff.
- 2014 includes Barry and Wes marrying, honeymooning in Hawaii, the birth of a great niece, and a long awaited cruise of Alaska.
- 2013 started with a sweet trip to see family. In Spring Daddy Barry & Wes moved in together after 8 years. Then in the early Fall we got to take a lovely once in a lifetime tour of London, Paris & Venice.
- 2012 included being hospitalized with pneumonia, and later saw Wes & Karl break up after a year.
- 2011 began with surfing, and continued with music, friends, family things, travel and meeting pup Karl.
- 2010 began with continued introspection; then depression, footwork, and fellowship. Things took a notable turn for the better in April-May; particularly with the addition of Abilify. Then some sweet things: Hot springs, new music capabilities, a visit from nephew & wife, and a visit from father & stepmother.
- 2009 has been full of introspection; and closes with major new beginnings.
- 2008 started quite unbalanced. Literally. In August, we marry, and then split. Here's an update.
- 2007 began on a tender note, went into a prolonged period of illness, and then saw the first trip back to Oregon since The Letter Wars.
- 2006 is an amazing year with family, a joyful collaring, the profoundly sad death of a sweet former leatherslave nicknamed boy tim, and wild, mind-altering illnesses which included
- prolonged sleep deprivation,
- a LIFE-THREATENING allergy to the horrid, Horrid, HORRID abacavir / Ziagen component of EpZiCom,
- ungodly near-simultaneous multiple major medication changes,
- a new diagnosis of gastro-esophageol reflux disease (GERD),
- experiencing an antacid-induced bowel obstruction that looked like pregnancy, prevented sleep, and required a two-hour enema to un-block and resulted in an 8 pound weight drop,
- being largely paralyzed for 2.5 hours,
- and being diagnosed with another LIFE-THREATENING disorder called polycythemia, which was poised to strike with a stroke or heart attack.
- 2005 started with a disability review and was followed by pneumonia. In academia, there were more results on a genetic cause of homosexuality. And then, pursuing a longtime desire, Officer Wes started seeking a leather daddy. March, April & May were filled with health items. The summer brought many joyful leather family times, art, and medical tourism. Fall brought movies, medical stuff, and a puppy named Opa!
- 2004
- December we prepare for a puppy.
- September - November like 1997 Officer Wes first gets walking pneumonia and then is diagnosed with sinus failure on both sides of the face ("bilateral") & in all locations (ethmoids, sphenoids, frontals & maxillaries). Surgery ensues for the first time in seven years. Tom gets ill. Officer has skin cancer removed.
- July - August friends, weight loss, surgery, doggies; & Tom's sister dies
- April - June sick again, fun diversions, and Officer Wes remembers Reagan.
- January - March Officer Wes collars boy jay and gets intensely sick.
- November - December Tom buys a hard, fast machine; a motorcycle nicknamed Priapus after the Greek god of erections and fertility.
- October Tom's mom dies, and boy jay inquires about joining the family.
- September Inferno and introspection.
- August a new mattress and a visit from friends.
- June - July more weight regaining work and fellowship with friends.
- April - May rest and recovery. Plus: How to reduce junk mail.
- February - March the move process continues.
- January we get some delightful pictures taken.
- December helps us along our way.
- November brings a major life change.
- October has minor remodeling and some sickness.
- We celebrate Tom's birthday, early, in September.
- Deputy brings his new boy to meet the family in August.
- July we visit San Francisco and welcome local friend Kevin into the family.
- June brought more medication changes and a trip to Tucson.
- May brought a bold medication change.
- Officer Wes & Tom went to the Grand Canyon in April.
- In March, Officer Wes and his sisters have a celebration of life gathering and place their mother's grave marker. Shortly after, a very dear leather man, bob harris, dies.
- Officer Wes notices a pronounced energy drop and other physical changes in February.
- BIG things in December.
- Read November.
- October: Reading Built to Survive: A Comprehensive Guide to the Medical Use of Anabolic Steroids, Nutrition and Exercise for HIV(+) Men and Women, available from the Houston Buyers Club. This book explained a lot about nutrition that I did not know, and mapped out a roadmap for regaining the 13 pounds I lost earlier in the year. Highly recommended.
- September: A trip to visit the vibrantly alive leathermen Steve Sampson & family, plus updated T-counts and viral load bloodwork.
- August: After 7 years, I am finally able to write about the death of one of my best friends ever, Burt Picone. I also added a section to our memorial page to remember note only people I knew who have died from AIDS but also other ways.
- July: My friend Richard Brawell dies.
- June: Added Atomz.com site search capabilities.
- Added the "Zeal of Approval" award to our Awards & Honors Page.
- Added a description of saline nasal irrigation to the Things From Wes' Nose section.
- Added Wes' Full Medication Regimen to the T-cells, viral loads & drug decisions section. This new sheet supplements Wes' HIV Medication Regimen to show additional medications plus vitamins & supplements.
- September-October: Relationship changes, and a fun diversion -- Officer Wes buys a Harley-Davidson Police Special. He also has LASIK surgery done by Austin's top specialists so that he can wear his cop Ray Bans more easily.
- July-August: A hectic summer
- June: Wes' mother dies
- May: Wes and Tom move to Austin
- April: After over a year of planning, Wes and Tom go to Australia and New Zealand with buddy Dave (Narration and pictures by Dave.) Check out these stunning bungee jump pictures!
- January 15-March 15: Wes and Tom do a trial move to Austin to be with boy tim, and decide to move there permanently
- February: We catch up and add more friends to the friends and acquaintances of Wes' who have died of AIDS page: Clifford Eugene "Butch" Eultschey, Carl Denton, Shirley Goulet and Bob Fisher
- January: Updated Wes' T-cell count and viral load graphs
- December: We present Wes & Tom's 1999, which includes the arrival of boy tim
- October 12: We get some fun coverage in the Advocate
- September: Added our acquaintance John O'Donnell to friends and acquaintances of Wes' who have died of AIDS
- July: Posted the results of some brain testing that showed something is amiss
- June: The Letter Wars wraps up
- May: Updated the section on neuropathy to show what helped somewhat
- April: Added Bay Area Gays & Lesbians' Web Site Excellence Award to our awards and honors
- March: Added our friend Frank White to friends and acquaintances of Wes' who have died of AIDS
- February: Updated Wes' T-cell count and viral load graphs
- The Year in Pictures
- February, 2nd half - present
- February, 1st half: dealing with neuropathy
- January: Tom and I add a leather boy to our relationship
- September - December: Wes goes to SFO, gets pneumonia, has a sinus operation
- June - September: 10 years of living with HIV
- April - June: Tom goes back to school & Wes starts volunteering
- January - April: the Cool Site! is in USA Today
- 1996: We launch the Cool Site! and defend our Ladder Reputation
Wes & Tom's Cool Site
The Letter Wars (aka The Homophobe Hellhole)
Things From Wes' Nose | Things From Wes' Mind
Guestbook!